Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Be a good egg – pay it forward

The unemployment rate for lawyers is 3.2 percent*.  This means there are 56,000 unemployed lawyers across the country.  However, 1.7 million of us are employed.  That is a pretty good ratio.  Only health-care practitioner and technical occupations fared better than lawyers.  Although for the unemployed lawyers out there, the favorable ratio  provides little solace.

Over the course of my 23 years of practice, I’ve worked for three different employers –  a small boutique general practice firm, a Fortune 500 retail, catalog and internet giant, and my current employer.  When I went in-house in 1996, I thought I would stay at my company for the rest of my career.  Bankruptcy put an end to that in late 2004.

Over the years I’ve learned some valuable lessons about being ready for the next stage of my  career.  One of them is the importance of “networking.”  As a young lawyer I believed I had neither the time nor the energy to network.  I believed that my skills and achievements would carry the day when the time came to look beyond my current position.  This was a huge mistake.

I am a smart person with excellent credentials having worked for top-notch companies and with outstanding executives – just like many of the other lawyers shooting for the positions that I want.  However, having some connection to the person making the hiring decision puts me a half or full step ahead of my competition.  I am a known quantity, less of a risk.  I might even find out about an opportunity before it is published.

The most important lesson I have learned about networking is that the best time to actively network is when one is comfortable and secure in one’s position.  In good times, one has credibility as a networker because nothing is needed, there is no apparent selfishness.  A good networker simply establishes and nurtures relationships.  She puts people with complimentary needs together.   Of course, it is difficult for human beings to act with complete selflessness and so when we network we cannot help but to think there will be some payback in the future.  This may be true.  However, successful networkers do not think selfishly.   This brings me to my point (finally!).

Most of us have been helped by someone in our network.  In turn, we have an obligation to help another in need, to return the kind act with a kind act to another -  to “pay it forward.”

Ben Franklin described the concept in  a letter to Benjamin Webb in 1784:

…I send you herewith … ten Louis d’ors (gold coins). I do not pretend to give such a sum; I only lend it to you. When you shall return to your country with a good character, you cannot fail of getting into some business, that will in time enable you to pay all your debts… When you meet with another honest man in similar distress, you must pay me by lending this sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a knave that will stop its progress…

Now is the time to pay forward the kind acts you have received from others.  This can be as simple as picking up the phone and offering an encouraging word or two, reviewing  and marking up a resume, arranging for an introduction or as involved as helping conduct a job search and making calls on behalf of your colleague.  The point is – there are many people out there looking for some kind of help in their career.  If you can, give back.  Pay it forward!  Do not be the knave of which Franklin writes.  Be a good egg.


*Originally published July 14, 2010

Enhance Your Integrity by Fessing Up to Your Mistakes

“A man (or woman) must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. “
John C. Maxwell

A source of great discomfort for many people, especially lawyers, is to admit error.  As lawyers, we often look for someone to blame when something goes wrong.  We work hard to find the root cause of the problem.  We do this for several reasons, among them: (1) to assess responsibility and accountability (usually financial) so that the “wrong” can be made “right”; and, (2) to ensure that the same mistake is not repeated.  But what happens when your investigation concludes that you caused the problem or made the mistake?  How many of us are man or woman enough to step up to the plate and take our due, at whatever expense to our career or personal life?

We are not paid to make mistakes.  We are paid to avoid them.  Lawyers live in a grey world where there is usually no course of action that is 100 percent risk free.  Rarely are we involved in a decision that gives us the option of “no risk” versus “certain risk.”  Inherent in the practice of law is the possibility that a risk will be realized.  In such cases, clients look for blame, and it is often the lawyer to whom they look first.  This is a hazard of our profession and should be avoidable by fully informing our clients of the risks involved in taking certain actions over certain other actions, and of course, documenting that advice for later reference if needed.

However, what does one do if a real mistake is made and you are the cause?  In my opinion, the best practice is to fess up and admit when you are wrong about an issue and move on.  Being upfront and honest about how the mistake was made and the circumstances surrounding it gives you credibility and ensures your good reputation with your client.  This is very practical, but difficult, advice to both give and to follow.  However, there is terrific upside.  The most important positive long term benefit is that your client will learn to trust you more.  If you can admit that you made a mistake in a certain circumstance, your client will believe you and trust your judgment the next time because she knows that you are not trying to hide anything from her or to simply make yourself look good.

Another reason to be upfront is that the people with whom we work on a daily basis are very smart –  smart enough to figure out if the intention driving your finger pointing is to focus attention everywhere but upon yourself.  They will eventually figure out where the problem originated at which point you will either be immediately out of a job, on your way out of a job, or effectively distrusted to the point where you can no longer perform your job effectively.  A friend of mine told me about an interview he had with the CEO of his company.  The CEO told him that the company is very leanly staffed and if you make a mistake, own up to it and move on – but do not try to hide it because there is nowhere to hide and that it will be discovered sooner or later.  This same friend told me that there have been a couple of times when he has gone to his boss and said, “I screwed up.”  He said, “It isn’t easy to do but easier than I thought it would be before I started the job.”  This lawyer has clearly established himself as a trusted advisor in the company and has developed a relationship with his supervisor that allows this to occur.  Much is to be said for the supervisor who recognizes that people do make mistakes and that allowing them to come clean is a positive approach to dealing with errors and the steps necessary to correct them.

The first step in Maxwell’s advice is to admit the mistake, first to oneself and second to the people to whom you are responsible.  A mistake usually leads to wisdom.  A typical lawyer will then work very hard to correct the mistake (and no doubt succeed in correcting it).  In the end, you will be a better, smarter, more trustworthy attorney.

No one who conceals transgressions will prosper, but one who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Proverbs 28:13

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Listen

“We are given two ears, but only one mouth. This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking.”
Unknown

Lawyers are taught to listen.  Good lawyers actually do listen.  But many of us are too busy thinking about what we are going to say next to actually listen carefully to what our partner in conversation is saying and the meaning behind the words.  Lawyers spend countless hours honing their writing and verbal skills.  However, being an excellent lawyer and a great business leader require exceptional listening skills.  People admire other people who listen to them, more so than the big talker in the room who believes that what he has to say is more important than what anyone else can possibly add to the conversation (or at least he acts this way).  Becoming a good listener will help you advance your career.  So what does it take to be a good listener?

Concentrate.  Good listening requires the listener to put aside all distractions and focus on the language, words and non-verbal cues the speaker is giving to you.  Focus on the words, the ideas and the feelings the speaker is expressing. Concentrate on the main ideas and points, try not to be distracted by off topic meanderings.

Pay attention.  Pay attention to the speaker, let her know that you are listening by acting like a listener.  All the while that you are assessing her communication with you (words, interpreting voice inflection and modulation, reading body language and facial expressions) she is doing the same.  She is looking at you trying to determine if what she is saying resonates with you, if you understand it, if the words “touch” your emotions or break through to your intellect.  Let her know that you are listening by maintaining eye contact, giving non-verbal cues such as nodding or leaning forward, look her in the eyes and let her feel that you “hear and you understand” what she is saying to you.

Maintain a receptive body posture – do not cross arms and legs or sit turned away from the speaker.  Rather, sit with arms gently to your side or slightly folded hands on your lap.  Do not play with your personal communication device – if necessary, turn it off in front of the speaker, sending a message that nothing is more important than what she has to say to you right now.

Be open.  Maybe, just maybe, the speaker will have something to say to you that you don’t already know.  If you have an attitude of objective receptiveness, she might convince you of a different and better way of thinking about a particular topic or a novel (to you anyway) means to approach a problem.  As lawyers, this can prove exceptionally difficult because we are often expected to have all the answers.  So we start to act as if we do.  It is amazing what we can learn when we accept that we do not have the answer for every problem and then listen carefully with an open mind to those who might have a deeper knowledge on a particular subject.

Restate the message the speaker gives you.  In this manner, you show that you are listening very carefully and that you have a desire to know exactly what she is trying to communicate to you.  Many times repeating the message in your own words gives rise to clarification or further development of the communication such that both parties benefit from a deeper dive into the subject matter.  Also, ask questions.  If you do not understand a point, or require further refinement, ask for clarification.

Do not interrupt.  You may think you can say it better than the speaker, but interrupting sends a clear unequivocal message that you believe what you have to say is much more important, relevant or insightful than what the speaker is saying.  Otherwise, why would you need to put an end to their message to get your own thoughts verbalized?

Put yourself in the speaker’s position so that you really have a better perspective as to where she is coming from.  Context is extremely important in understanding a person’s message and the “why” behind the need for its expression.

Remember, a conversation takes at least two people – a speaker and a listener.  Each party flips from one to the other in an instant.  For productive, meaningful conversations to take place, we cannot be thinking only about what we are going to say next.  We must exercise good listening skills to fully engage and learn the most we can from the conversation and hopefully, advance the cause of both the listener and the speaker.

“If you love to listen you will gain knowledge, and if you pay attention you will become wise.” 
Sirach 6:33